Do what you love. But maybe don’t wear it.

Content marketers spend a lot of time shining a light on the accomplishments of others. And with good reason! Our jobs are to highlight the unique products, services, and experiences that our companies and clients offer — but with a fresh spin that adds value to consumers’ lives.

But every once in a while, content marketers deserve to sit back, relax, and revel in their own achievements the best way we know how. You guessed it: with self-celebratory branded content. Unless, of course, said content totally misses the mark with eye roll-worthy copy that’s bad enough to call the entire industry’s existence into question.

That said, we’ve selected the 10 most egregious pieces of content marketing merch on the interwebs. Take our advice and don’t wear any of these to a client meeting.

1. I’ll Buy You a Beer for an Inbound Link

Do you think anyone has gotten a date by wearing this shirt? The answer is no, no they have not. Not only are you wearing a crew neck white tee shirt at a bar, but you’re bribing people to talk to you. Pass.

2. Content Marketing Director or Miracle Worker?

To be fair, the sentiment expressed on this shirt isn’t inaccurate, I’m just wondering if the world needs this level of martyrdom. Content marketing managers and directors certainly have their hands full juggling a million things at once. But so do police officers. And firefighters. And doctors. You know, people who are actually saving lives. Can we rephrase this?

3. Lost All My Money to Paid Ads

If you’re having that much trouble running a cost-effective ad campaign, we know some people who can help.

4. Branding: Bad for Cows, Good for Business.

True on both counts, but we’ve overlooked the role branding can (and should) play in your personal style. The novelty content marketing tote may be a misstep.

5. World’s Okayest Content Manager

Speaking of branding yourself, this shirt isn’t selling me on your business. You know, the business that purportedly helps companies sell things more convincingly? Not selling yourself short is a good start: next time, spring for the World’s Best Content Manager tee.

6. Amazing, Awesome, Beautiful, Wonderful Marketer

Can someone please contact Cafe Press and ask them how many units of this item they’ve sold and who purchased them? I’d like to reach out and ask each consumer on what occasion they sport this necklace that doubles as a flask that doubles as an affirmation that doubles as the most insane piece of jewelry of all time.

7. It’s A Content Marketing Thing, You Wouldn’t Understand

Isn’t the whole point of content marketing to help potential consumers understand complex topics? Come on now, let’s be inclusive!

8. Content Marketing Diva

We all know one — but hey, at least this shirt comes in both women’s and men’s sizes! Equal opportunity diva moments for the win.

9. Inflatable Castles Have Very High Bounce Rates

We get it, inflatable castles are really bouncy — and so is bad content! Ha! Ha. Wow. But does the world NEED this necklace? Like, truly need it?

10. My Content Brings All the Leads to the Yard

On second thought, this one is great.

Author Grace Stearns

A graduate of Pepperdine University, Grace has worked in PR and brand communications at publishing giants like Condé Nast, Hearst Magazines Digital Media, and Simon & Schuster. She writes about content marketing, social media, and technology for L&T's blog. A reluctant West Coast transplant, Grace lives in Brooklyn and spends a majority of her free time curled up with a good book.

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